The Rantings of an Indentured Servant

Sort of Self Explanatory, Don't Ya Think? If it's not obvious, stop. Pan up. Re-read. There you go genius...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Eerie fortune cookies

The General and I have long been claiming that essentially we are really the same person. We're not sure how this happened, or even why. The fact is that aside from our biological sex and one nut allergy (his, not mine...(wait a minute... out of the gutter kids!)) we really do have a buttload in common.

Today, for lunch we went to a lovely little hole in the wall chinese buffet. Now, I delicately dogged my honey chicken and rice as The General tentatively checked unidentified foods for the possible presence of any nut product. After both eating our fill, the server brought our check and fortune cookies by the table.

They say it is bad luck for you to pick your own fortune. I have a few problems with this because even if you are the person handing out the fortune cookies you are still basically deciding which one will be yours by delegating them to everyone else. Especially when there are only two of you at lunch... whichever one you do not pick for the other person you will have, in a roundabout way, picked for yourself.

Anyhow, The General grabs one and I take the other. We crack them open and would you believe it? I read mine out loud and he just starts laughing. What's so funny? It wasn't that bad of a fortune, right? Something about success and yeah, yeah, we all know to add "in bed." Really, you could add any prepositional phrase to the end of a fortune cookie to make it funny. For example, if a fortune is "You will come into great amounts of wealth" you could just as easily say "in the fridge" as you could say in bed. You sickies just decided to be perverted enough to choose in bed because of your dubious morals and base sense of humor. I know what's up.

Well, to get to the point... lo, and behold, The General and I had exactly the same fortune on our small little strips of paper. The interesting thing was that our lucky numbers and "learn Chinese" portions happened to be different. Thus, I am submitting this into evidence as further proof of our being the same person, minus the aforementioned two items. And now the lucky numbers and learn Chinese portion of our fortunes.


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